Martha Mae Drugan ^{1 2 3}

  General Notes:

Source: Robert and Daniel Westphal's Memorialization following the death of Martha. May 28, 2008

Mom's Legacy

Mom was the fifth of seven children in a big, dynamic, loving family. She was born and raised during the Great Depression in Winona, Minnesota to David and Lena Drugan. Her father died when she was 11, leaving her mother to support 7 children by working several jobs - literally day and night.

She graduated from Winona Senior High School and Winona Business College, and worked as a secretary for the Hercules Powder Works during WWII. Her and dad were married in 1943, and moved shortly thereafter to San Diego, CA where he reported for Navy training. Dad spent the next 2 years in the South Pacific, while mom continued her work with the Ration Board. They wrote letters to one another constantly, many of which mom kept for years.

After the war, mom and dad started a church window restoration company, and traveled throughout the United States. Finally settling down in the San Francisco Bay Area, mom gave birth to me in 1958 and Dan in 1961. We spent the majority of our childhood years in the suburb of Pleasanton, where mom worked as a school librarian and substitute school teacher.

Mom and dad moved to Modesto in 1977 where mom worked in the family glass business. After her and dad retired, they traveled for several years visiting friends and relatives throughout the country. In her later years, mom devoted her life to caring for dad who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in 2004.

Mom passed away after a brief illness at the Alexander Cohen Hospice House in Hughson, CA, just a few days shy of her 85th birthday. Her beautiful eyes and picture-perfect smile, coupled with an inner beauty that radiated such a glow, left a mark on everyone she encountered throughout her life. She was truly a remarkable woman, who has passed down a legacy that will never be forgotten.

HER LEGACY OF LOVE
Mom was the quintessential wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She drew such delight from her children, grandchildren Kellie and Adam, and great-grandchildren Amaya and Joshua. She loved to hug, to kiss, to hold, and to make everyone feel special. At big family gatherings, mom always took care to talk to everyone individually, always making sure no one was left out. Her spirit lives on in each of her children and grandchildren and it will be passed on to their children. Her influence is eternal.

Dad
If ever two people were meant to be married to one another, it was mom and dad. Whether by design, or simply by being with one another for 64 years, they were inseparable. Their minds were always in synch… what one was thinking, the other was thinking too. They ALWAYS treated one another with the greatest respect, and, even when they disagreed, they never let the sun go down on problems at hand. They never held grudges. They were two people that truly lived up to being members of the "Great Generation." Despite their often hectic lives, they always took time to spend Friday nights together on "dates." When dad would come home from work, mom would always have dinner ready. But, before eating, they'd always chase us kids out of the kitchen, where they'd talk about the events of the day. They had their priorities straight from day-one.

The love between mom and dad was - and continues to be - incredible, to say the least. They were always affectionate to one another, and mom would defend dad to no end (and vice-versa). Mom always said, "You've got the best father in the world." And, dad too, would say the same of mom. They were a true team. They were faithful to each another to no end. Mom looked up to dad like no other. He was everything to her, and she was everything to him.

As the years took their toll, and dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, the love and patience mom showed to dad was remarkable. She sacrificed her own life - and health - so that dad was well taken care of. She never asked for help, as she felt it was her duty as a wife to care for him, no matter what the cost. Dad would have done the same for mom had the circumstances been reversed. Dad was truly the love of her life. Mom was truly the love of dad's life. The two were truly one.

Kim
Mom held her daughters-in-law in such high regard. Dan's wife, Kim, shared a special bond with mom from the beginning. They were best friends, confidants, and both shared an incredible work ethic and devotion to duty as wives. Mom always said of Kim, "She's such a hard worker. I don't know what we'd all do without her." And, "Kim's got to take a rest. She's working way too hard!" - likely an observation that she also saw within herself many times over the years. Mom always treated Kim like the daughter she never had. She'd often spend long hours on the phone with Kim, talking about business, relationships, and giving bits and pieces of advice. Kim reminded her of our aunt Terrie, who mom always held in such high esteem. She felt at ease with Kim, and was always quick to remind everyone in the family how lucky we were to have her.

Donna
My wife, Donna, was mom's source of excitement - her biggest cheerleader. Donna was a constant source of optimism, and offered mom the motivation and encouragement she needed in her later years. Where Kim was mom's confidant, Donna was mom's source of brightness and laughter. She always said of Donna, "She's always SO upbeat and happy. She comes into the house like a whirlwind, and whenever she leaves, I'm smiling for hours." She often said that if she'd met Donna in her childhood years, they would have been best friends. Donna had a unique way of taking mom's mind off of problems or challenges. A lot of who Donna is as a wife, mother, and grandmother, comes from mom's shining example. Donna always got along so well with my dad, and could handle him like no one else could… something mom was always in awe of.

Kellie
Her first grandchild was my daughter Kellie. You would think mom won the lottery the day Kellie arrived! Mom always noted how beautiful, smart and artistic Kellie was. When Kellie was around 11 or so, we always got a lot of laughs having her stand next to mom because she was taller that her grandma, and, given my mother's height, this was no great feat, but we enjoyed it nonetheless! Among all her other qualities, Kellie inherited my mom's loving nature toward her own husband and children. Mom loved Chris to no end, and always said, "Chris and Kellie are so lucky to have each other." She always talked about what good parents they are. Kellie also inherited mom's attention to detail and perfection. Whenever Kellie needed to do a project for school, it wasn't a simple a poster board with magazine cut-outs glued on it. It was always a full-blown, fully integrated artistic execution! Kellie spent a lot of time with mom when she was young, as mom babysat her after school everyday. Mom always encouraged her artistic abilities, and maintained a thick scrapbook of her artwork that she used to love to brag about!

Adam
Mom always noted how kindhearted her grandson Adam was, and how he'd grown to become such a loving man. She always called him "grandma's boy," and was very proud that he'd made the decision to join the military. Though mom took every opportunity she could to bash wealthy politicians and unfair laws, she was a true patriot. Adam grew up with a gift of common sense and strong moral convictions that mom nurtured every chance she'd get. She was so proud of Adam, and continually worried about him when he'd go to sea on patrols. She always told Adam, "whatever you choose to do in life, give it your all. If you choose to be a garbage man, be the BEST garbage man in the world."

Amaya
Next to arrive was her great-granddaughter, Amaya. Mom always noted what a sweetheart she was, and always commented on how smart she was, and how she looked just like her own mother, Lena. Mom was always the first to meet Amaya at the door to give her a big hug and a kiss, and always said Amaya brought back so many good memories of when Kellie was little.

Joshua
Following Amaya was Joshua. The first time mom held Joshua, she commented on how he looked just like me when I was a baby. She always commented on how cute Josh was, and was so proud of every one of his major accomplishments including, crawling, walking, talking, being potty-trained, and, above all, his love for anything electronic! She always said, "Josh is going to grow up to be an electrical engineer someday!"

HER LEGACY OF RESPONSIBILITY
Mom played many roles throughout her life; she was a devoted wife, the absolute best mother and grandmother, a cherished sister, a favorite "auntie," and a dear friend. She was always one to live by her word, and was always on time for appointments. Nothing frustrated her more than showing up for a doctor's appointment on time, and then having to wait to be seen! One time, after waiting for a half hour in her doctor's waiting room, she got up and told the receptionist, "Does the doctor think he's the only one in the world with something important to do? I've waited long enough. Tell him to call me when he's got time to see me." … and she walked out! She taught us the value of being prepared, prompt, and willing to accept full responsibility for our actions. Mom was the most patient person in the world until she knew that someone was not being responsible.

HER LEGACY OF GENEROSITY
Mom had an enormous heart filled with passion, compassion and empathy. She had an abundance of unselfish generosity. She never took the easy way out by spending 30 seconds to write a check to a cause; she gave her all to every cause she ever participated in. She was a regular sponsor / coordinator for the March of Dimes, and she always encouraged us, as kids, to donate part of our allowance to such causes. Mom was a dedicated volunteer; a Cub Scouts den mother, a PTA member, a babysitter, a tutor, and a medic to any kid in the neighborhood who needed a Band-Aid and a hug. She earned the nickname "Dr. Martha," and had a patient list of 30-40 neighborhood kids, most of whom were craving nothing more than love and attention that they didn't get at home.

We had a long list of "surrogate" grandparents - people that my mom and dad "adopted" that often spent weekends and holidays with us, as they had nowhere else to go. Ida and Ray Winslow of San Francisco, and Al Haight of Pleasanton were "grandparents" that I have fond memories of to this day. My parents treated them like family, and gave them the love and generosity that they needed so very much. Mom often cited the saying, "God helps those that help themselves." She was selective in her generosity, always making sure that the cause she was fighting for was valid. She refused to give money to anyone that was homeless and looked like they were able (but unwilling) to work. "Go get a job!" was her comment when it came to many homeless people. She often talked about the homeless people in the Great Depression, and how they all struggled to find work, and would do anything to better themselves. She was disgusted by how lazy society had become in her later years.

HER LEGACY OF COMPASSION
Mom was amazingly kind to everyone. She always said, "Never judge anyone until you've walked in their shoes." She taught us never, under any circumstance, to be mean to anyone or make-fun of anyone. Moreover, we were taught that if someone was being picked on that we should stand up for that person. She really was a champion of the underdog, whether it was a family in need or a political candidate. Perhaps this was because she was so often the underdog in her early years, growing up poor and having to fight for respect and honor. In my childhood years, mom and dad used to regularly volunteer at the US Veteran's Home in Livermore, CA. They'd take gifts to the disabled vets on holidays, which was an education in itself for me as a young boy. Seeing men with no legs, no arms, blind, deaf, and bed-ridden made me realize how tough some people had it, and how they sacrificed their lives for MY freedom. It was at the Vet's home that I first developed a sense of true compassion. The trips back home were always quiet, and there were always tears welling up in my dad's eyes as we drove away. Equally as beautiful was my mom's devotion to her own parents in their golden years. Her and dad actually moved back to Minnesota for a short time to take care of mom's folks. This is, perhaps, the reason that Dan and I felt so strongly about taking care of mom and dad in their time of need.

HER LEGACY OF HARD WORK
My mom had an outstanding work ethic. Whether working in the family business, organizing an event for the PTA, teaching school, running the school library, volunteering as a census taker, or donating her time at the voting polls, she went above and beyond the call. Although she only stood 5' - 5" and never weighed much more than 100 lbs., she stood up for what she believed in and made her opinion count. Her strong sense of conviction made her a endless source of conversation, and she loved to regularly address such controversial subjects such as politics and religion!

Nothing disgusted mom more than laziness or selfish people. She had no tolerance for wealthy politicians, TV evangelists, or uncaring people that were born into wealth! Whenever something was unjust, mom was say, "It's money. It's all about money. That's all they care about." (followed by an all too familiar lecture about what she'd do if SHE won the lottery!) Mom was an attentive listener, and, while talking to her, you'd instantly feel her sincerity by her keen eye contact. She took great care in listening to the "whole story" before offering an opinion or giving advice. My mom taught us never to do anything "half baked." She never simply "bought cookies" - she made cookies, from scratch, and always placed them with care on an attractive plate, with a complimentary garnish, wrapped in pastel cellophane, and often hidden with equal care from my Dan and I!

HER LEGACY OF EDUCATION
An avid reader, mom enjoyed books of all types. In Pleasanton, the small town we grew up in, mom used to complain that she had read every book in the library! It was the countless trips to the library that inspired me to appreciate literature at an early age. She served as school librarian at Alisal Elementary School in Pleasanton, and often brought books home that were in need of repair. She'd enlist everyone in the family in the book repair process… re-binding, repairing damaged book spines, and replacing covers.

Every day, without fail, she'd take a "nap" in the afternoon, which in fact was her time to read. Some of her favorite authors were Taylor Caldwell, Danielle Steele, and Pearl S. Buck. She bought me a copy of "The Good Earth" by Pearl S. Buck when I was in 5th grade. She handed it to me, and said, "you'll love reading this someday." "Someday" came quickly, as my curiosity got the best of me, and I read the book cover-to-cover in a matter of weeks. From that time on, reading was one of my favorite pastimes.

Mom knew how to motivate and inspire anyone, and knew how to do it in such a subtle manner that even the most unpleasant tasks seemed enjoyable. She tutored me in German classes throughout high school, and always said that everyone should speak at least one foreign language. We'd wash dishes every night together after dinner while she'd listen to me recite my German lessons. I have so many fond memories of standing at the sink next to mom. She loved crossword puzzles and anything that challenged her mind. When I was a kid, we used to all play Scrabble together, and I know now that the motivation behind that game was to teach us how to spell!

HER LEGACY OF COMMUNICATION
Because she was such a great communicator, she had a gift for making friends. But more than this, she kept her friends. People like Betty Hatfield, Joy Roberts, Marilyn Michell, Dorothy Boyce, Doris Yarbrough, Lois Hauso, and Mickey Fessler could always be found at our kitchen table in the afternoon having coffee, tea, and homemade cookies. Having lived all over the United States, she maintained contacts throughout the country, always taking great care to send birthday, anniversary, or holiday greeting cards and letters on a consistent basis; some for over 50 years. She always encouraged me to have pen pals, whether they were relatives or friends in foreign countries. And, she kept in constant touch over the years (until she could no longer write) with her family and friends throughout the country. She was an extraordinary typist, until she learned to communicate with a cassette tape recorder!

HER LEGACY OF FAIRNESS AND DISCIPLINE
She had extraordinary perseverance and an ability to forge ahead regardless of what life dealt her. Raising 2 children in the early seventies, she faced many challenges. Her sense of morality and her overwhelming faith in God, coupled with her outstanding teaching abilities, was an excellent recipe for a perfect mother. She never went around an obstacle; she went right over it while maintaining her dignity and self respect. She rarely got angry, and seldom had the need to even raise her voice. As kids, we had so much respect for her that we knew, beyond a doubt, when we were "treading on thin ice." She was the disciplinarian in the family, and was ALWAYS fair and impartial. She wasn't opposed to issuing a good spanking when it was necessary, whether by "hand" or with a flyswatter (which, to this day, still scares me!)

HER LEGACY OF FAITH AND DEVOTION
Mom's devotion to her dad, Dan, and I was truly extraordinary. We always - absolutely, unequivocally came first. She always put our needs ahead of her own. If we needed a new pair of shoes and she needed a new winter coat, we got the shoes. This could explain why so many of her coats had mismatched buttons!

Growing up in an affluent town like Pleasanton had the potential to create many negative situations. The majority of our neighbors continually struggled for a position in society, but often wound-up at our kitchen table in tears, seeking my mom's good counsel. Over a period of two years, there were 6 divorces on our street alone. Mom accredited this to selfishness, immorality, and greed, and made sure we knew, at an early age, the importance of morality, marriage, and family. She was often angered when listening to politicians talk about "family values!" She'd say, "Hillary Clinton's a fine one to talk. She can't even control her own husband, yet she's telling everyone it takes a village to raise a child. It takes LOVE to raise a child, not a village."

Mom was equally disgusted by organized religion for profit. She said there's a bit of truth in every religion, but the only real truth was in Jesus Christ. She devoted her entire life to the Lord, and had faith that was unshakable. I doubt that I'll ever meet someone with as much faith in God as mom. Jesus was her PERSONAL savior, and she always took great care to practice what she preached.

We were never a big church-going family. Instead, we simply "walked the walk." We learned by living two basic principles… the Golden Rule, and the 10 Commandments - mom's recipes for salvation and eternal life. She read the Bible with zeal, and loved to talk about it. Many of mom's neighbors were regular church-goes who periodically asked mom to go to church with them. She resented this, and would say, "These people need to get up off the church pews and go DO something. They sit there, all smug, trying to sell religion door-to-door like a business. I know who God is, and I don't need to spend my life being "sold" on religion. God 's right here - in my heart - and I know where I'm going when I die. I don't need some cheap mail-order evangelist to tell me what to believe in."

Mom was raised in the Catholic church by a Lutheran mother. She said that in her dad's last days, he'd take her to a different church every Sunday. She said he found no comfort in Catholicism, and said he was "searching for peace." It was likely at that time that mom found that God was in her heart - not in a particular denomination. She often said, "People have become misled, looking for God in all the wrong places. Most of these evangelists are after nothing more than a buck." Every time another evangelist or priest would be convicted of a crime, she'd say, "there ya go… another one God caught up with!"

We were well cared for and more importantly, SO well loved. We were told we could do anything with our lives and there were no bounds to our dreams and goals. Mom always believed in us - unconditionally. Her priorities were quite simple - God, Family, and Work (in that order). My mom was so very proud of us, her two sons. We were always close to her, especially over the past couple years, a gift she treasured. Because of mom, Dan and I have developed an amazing ability to persevere through incredible adversity. Our devotion to mom and our family is at the heart and soul of our world.

HER LEGACY OF HUMOR
Mom loved to laugh! And, we loved nothing more than to MAKE her laugh! The crowning achievement was to get my mother to laugh so hard she'd cry. I can recall countless times - mom laughing, with tears rolling down her cheeks, usually when we'd imitate her or dad!

HUMOROUS THOUGHTS ABOUT MOM:

Mom was the "Queen of Lists." She'd write everything down, in order, long before planners and PIM's even existed. In her later years, she kept no less than 10 lists (updated daily) attached to the refrigerator door with magnets!

When mom wasn't pleased with something, she'd shake her head to one side, roll her eyes, and grin.

Mom was seldom, if ever, without lipstick or manicured nails. She always took great pride in her appearance. Even when she'd spend the entire day cleaning the house, she always looked attractive. And, ALWAYS smelled like Chanel No. 5!

Mom loved coffee, and would never drink it until it was cold. She'd pour a cup, and let it sit on the kitchen counter for a few hours before drinking it. She always said, "That's the way your grandma Hanson always drank coffee - the Norwegian way."

Mom never believed the expiration date on dairy products really mattered. Likewise, any baked goods had a shelf life of at least three weeks. She absolutely HATED to throw food away.

Mom loved to sing, and could be heard singing throughout the house daily. Her and dad were a great duet. I still have the fondest of memories of mom singing to me at bedtime every night. Such songs as "That Little Boy of Mine," "Mairzy Doats," "Battle Hymn of the Republic," (my favorite), and the "Tennessee Waltz" were standard faire right after saying our prayers. If we wanted to "stall" going to sleep, we'd drag out the prayers to include "God Bless…" (every name we could think of, including our pets, our neighbors pets, the names of presidents, cartoon characters, etc.). Mom never had the heart to stop the blessings either!

Flashlights were important. You never knew when the lights would go out and you'd need one - or seven.

Mom was a practicing amateur meteorologist. She'd write down the high and low temperatures every day on the calendar in her pantry, and often refer to it during discussions about how hot or cold it was on a particular day.

Mom was a chocolate lover extraordinaire! ANYTHING chocolate was her favorite. But, for some reason, she'd always buy Neopolitan ice cream, and there was always left-over vanilla and strawberry. The last meal mom had on this earth was chocolate pudding and chocolate milk!

HER FAVORITE SAYINGS WERE:

"Tomorrow's another day"
...meaning, "I've heard enough of your complaining… get over it and let's talk about something positive!"

"...and I don't mean maybe."
...meaning, "get in your room NOW, or you WILL get spanked!"

"Oh, so much!"
...meaning, "I can't eat all of that food. Give some to your father - as she'd pass him spoonfuls of potatoes, rice, vegetables, etc. Dad learned early on not to overload his dinner plate, as he always knew he'd be eating half of mom's meal before dinner was over.

"Things could be worse."
No matter how bad something seemed, mom could make it seem trivial. Even an amputated leg could be an opportunity for something positive like keeping the guy at the prosthetic limb factory employed.

"Here, honey, take this home with you for a snack."
This could range anywhere from a half-eaten box of stale Wheat Thins, to a fully prepared roast beef dinner. Mom would NEVER let anyone leave the house without taking food home. On more than one occasion, when mom wasn't looking, Dan or I would throw the food into one another's car, and quickly run. The exception to this rule was when mom sent chocolate chip cookies or brownies home with us. Then we'd try to steal from one another. (In fact, I think there's still a half empty bag of stale pretzels under my car seat from a few months ago that I'll pass on to Dan soon).

"Love you… call me when you get home."
This was the standard "good-bye" when visiting mom's house. Despite the fact that we lived less than 3 miles away, mom always wanted to make sure we arrived home safely. Plus, the phone call was a way to find out of we'd eaten any of the leftovers she sent home with us.

"My God, the traffic!"
This was the standard "hello" when mom would visit our house. Despite the fact that she'd normally visit on a Sunday afternoon and the streets in town were virtually empty, she'd always complain about "the traffic."

"Oh, for cry eye" or "Oh, for cripes sakes"
None of us really knew what these sayings meant, but we suspect they're rooted somewhere deep in Minnesota culture. They'd normally be heard when we'd rip the knees out of our new Levi's, or walk into the house with bleeding elbows and broken teeth after bicycle accidents.

"Oh, Jeez!"
Another Minnesota phenomenon. (*see above)

"My God, Bob, slow down!"
Mom was the Queen of backseat driving. Although she never drove (after moving to California), she knew every rule of the road as quoted directly from the DMV handbook. One of the happiest days of mom's life was when dad got a speeding ticket in Oregon after mom gave him a warning to slow down. She could hardly contain herself as the state trooper approached our car. Dad spent the remainder of our vacation convinced that she was a witch and had put a spell on him.

CONCLUSION
The dignity and grace by which mom sailed through life has left a wake of beauty across the many hearts she touched. She spent her entire life dedicated to Jesus, her Lord and Savior, so we know she is in a wonderful place with Him. Knowing my mom, she's probably already in the midst of planning her "arrival" party and busy compiling the guest list of family members and friends who arrived in heaven before her! May she rest in peace and enjoy every minute of the wonders of eternal life. We love you, miss you, and look forward to seeing you again, mom.
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  Birth Notes:

Name: Drugan
Gender: Unknown
Birth Date: 01 Jun 1923
Birthplace: Winona City, Winona, Minn.

Citing this Record
"Minnesota Births and Christenings, 1840-1980," database, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/ark:/61903/1:1:FDMR-Q3R : 10 February 2018), Drugan, 01 Jun 1923; citing Winona City, Winona, Minn., reference bk 2 p 43 l 190; FHL microfilm 1,377,830.
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  Death Notes:

given name: Martha
middle name: Mae
surname: Westphal
birth date: 1 June 1923
state: Minnesota
last place of residence: Modesto, Stanislaus, California
previous residence postal code: 95350
event date: 28 May 2008
age: 85

Citing this Record
"United States Social Security Death Index," index, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org/pal:/MM9.1.1/JBD6-LMN : accessed 01 Mar 2013), Martha Mae Westphal, 28 May 2008.
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  Noted events in her life were:

• She was confirmed Saint Mary's Church in Winona, MN.

• She was educated at Winona Business College in Winona, MN.

• She worked as an Owner, Glass Business.

• She appeared on the 1930 US Census in Winona, MN on 14 April 1930. ¹

1930 US Census
Sheet 15A, District 29, Dwelling 326, Family 355, Roll 1135
Winona, Winona County, Minnesota
552 West 4th Street; Rent $25
Martha Drugan..Daughter..6..MN
(Living with parents.)
.

• She appeared on the 1940 US Census in Winona, MN on 9 April 1940. ²

1940 US Census
Sheet 8B, Roll 1969, District 85-30A, Family 170
Winona, Winona County, Minnesota
618 West Howard Street; house rented $18
same place in 1935
Martha Drugan..Daughter..16..MN..10th grade
(Living with step-father and mother.)
.

• She received a degree in BA Business in 1942.

• She was educated at Winona High School in 1942 in Winona, MN.

• She worked as a Secretary/Clerk for the US Ration Board from 1944 to 1945.

• She worked as a School Librarian from 1966 to 1967.

• She was buried on 6 June 2008 in the San Joaquin National Cemetery in Santa Nella, California.

Martha and husband are buried together on one grave site, with the practice of the National cemeteries to stack one grave on top of another.

Plot: SECTION 9 SITE 1198
Find A Grave Memorial #72889574
. ³

Martha married Robert Carl Westphal, son of Emil Roy Westphal and Anna Margaretha Frickenhaus, on 18 September 1943 in Baraboo, WI. (Robert Carl Westphal was born on 18 July 1925 in Riverside, IL ^{4 5}, baptized in 1949 in Baton Rouge, LA, died on 6 March 2009 in Modesto, CA ⁵ and was buried on 13 March 2009 in Santa Nella, California ⁵.). The cause of his death was Pneumonia; Alzheimer's Disease.

  Marriage Notes:

Bob and Martha were originally married in the Presbyterian Church in Baraboo, Wisconsin. Approximately 6 years later, they were re-married at St. Joseph's Catholic Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
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